Let me back up a week or two, okay? Because I have a story to tell.
So I'm just standing in our bedroom changing the baby one morning, pretty early, when Jared offers to make coffee. Not 30 seconds later, he rushes back, proclaiming, "MEGHANN. There is a Crime Scene Investigations van outside. A CRIME must have happened last night!" I've never seen a person so excited at someone else's misfortune, but lets be honest. This IS a fun way to start a random Monday, right? So we look outside and crane our necks until we realize what happened. THIS happened.
Let me zoom in for you. Okay?
So we did what any normal family would do. We loaded in the car in our pajamas and drove VERY SLOWLY past the crime scene so that we could take pictures without being seen. Then we drove around the block so as not to arouse suspicion, OBVIOUSLY, then went back home (a whole three houses, ahem) so we could discuss the crime at hand here. We had to construct a play-by-play, you see, complete with a list of characters. Jared then, apparently because he wanted to scare the crap out of me, remarked that this was probably the work of a drug gang, the leader most likely resembling Tuco Salamada.
Back up. The night before this all went down, it should be noted that we finished Season One of Breaking Bad. I love Jessie and Walter is just okay and I want to punch his wife in the face, but that's another story. If you watch this show, you know Tuco, the sociopathic meth dealer SLASH gang leader SLASH scariest person ever, right? This is Tuco:
And...THIS is Tuco after killing a man with his bare hands during a crystal meth exchange gone wrong. BARE HANDS, yinz. In a scrapyard.
Then, as we are sitting there discussing how the Band of Roaming Tucos must have come in the middle of the night armed with a jack for the car AND power drills to quickly remove the wheels (seriously?) Jared said, "Hey! You know you left your car in the driveway all night, right? And you forgot to lock it?"
And I'm not kidding, all at once, all I could think of was my stroller. My most prized possession! I didn't even notice if it was there earlier! And I may or may not have then run BACK out the front door, into the driveway, to check the safety of my beloved City Select. Um...STILL in my nightgown. My NURSING nightgown. Just keepin' it real, you know.
My stroller was there. It was fine. But this goes to show two things:
1. Criminals are idiots. My stroller is probably worth at least two of those wheels and they could have had it with no effort whatsoever.
2. I am also an idiot. Why would Tuco want my stroller?
I mean, but really, why WOULDN'T Tuco want my stroller? It's amazing.
Have I ever mentioned how much I love my stroller?