Of all the things that could happen...
Thursday, January 17
Have you guys checked out this new site? This online community was recently started for basically anyone that is somehow connected to the medical field. I love it. There really aren't that many real, HONEST, resources out there for us med wives (and husbands), and I wish this had existed a few years ago! Anyway, today the question posed is this:
What's the most interesting medical fact you've learned vicariously?
And now I would like to tell you about when I first started dating Jared. I think it was maybe our third date? I don't remember exactly, but at some point Jared invited me over to his apartment so that he could cook me dinner. Jared still likes to remind me about how much he impressed me that night (it's true) because even though I was expecting spaghetti or something easy and very man-like, Jared cooked me one of the most gourmet meals I've ever had in my life. I was so shocked. It was a roasted pork chop with pineapple and orange glaze, mashed potatoes, and some sort of roasted vegetables. And four and a half years later, I still remember sitting in his living room and watching him cook in the kitchen. And I remember him all of a sudden reaching into a tiny bowl and producing some sort of chopped green garnish, and putting his hand high in the air and sprinkling the green something-or-other all over the top of my plate, and then finishing everything off with a twist of orange peel. And then I thought, "OMG. I can never cook for this person. I make things like TUNA CASSEROLE."
(But it all worked out in the end because it turns out that he was TRYING to impress me, and although he still cooks great food, there's no need to be intimidated. We eat takeout frequently. No bigs.)
I'm really getting off topic, so I'm sorry. Besides the gourmet cooking, that night I was also impressed by Jared's apartment--all neat and tidy and decorated pretty well for a guy. And then the bookshelves. You guys. I must have spent half the night looking at the books Jared had. I've never seen such huge books in all my life. I mean, they were so big that I couldn't even pick some of them up without huffing and puffing. And these were serious books...med school books. And you could open up any one single book, and the it was amazing! And so interesting! And full of disgusting, grotesque pictures that make you lose your appetite, but you just CAN'T LOOK AWAY. And even if you could, WHY WOULD YOU?
That very first night that I ever looked through one of his med school books, I remember coming across a picture of a prolapsed uterus, and I remember looking at it for a good five minutes in complete SHOCK AND HORROR and demanding that Jared explain it to me IMMEDIATELY, because I needed to really understand my future nightmares. I just couldn't even believe what I was seeing. (If you really want to almost vomit, you can view a picture here. But I promise guys,the picture in the book was WAY WORSE.) He explained to me that it happens when you have a baby and your uterus literally just comes out of your body. You basically poop out your uterus (I like to use non medical terms, ahem), and they have to take you to surgery and sew it back in. HORROR OF ALL HORRORS. But then Jared reminded me that HEY! This was only our third date, so no need to be talking about or even thinking about giving birth for a looooong time, riiiiight? No prolapsed uteruses (is that the plural?) in our near future.
Except guys, the time is nigh. I am giving birth to a BABY in a few short months, and as hard as I try, do you know that I can't get the image of the prolapsed uterus out of my head? Four and a half years later. Stupid STUPID med school books. GOD HELP ME.
But HEY! Good news! It's not just for the pregnant women! Old people can prolapse their bladders while peeing "too hard", so we can all be anxious about this together. You're welcome for that piece of useless medical information.